(Taken from Twitchdawolf)

"You know how sometimes people on your friendslist post about stuff going on in their life, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute? Since when were they working THERE? Since when were they dating HIM/HER? Since when???" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you should already know?"


FIRST NAME
I go by a few names. And up until a few month's ago. I use to run my fur name around wile I would job hunt with my gmail. After getting no replies or a email a few weeks later after the phone interview. getting a rejection email. I had to sit and think.

AGE
29, born on January 22nd, 1981.

LOCATION
Currently: I live in McMechen W.V. The most of my child life that I can remember is from Moundsville.

OCCUPATION
I have floated around the job market my fair share. My first job was at a Press plant. general labor working around the press loading and removing product. They stamped body parts from automotive, And Trucks. That lasted about a month. I then went to work at Tri-State Machine. As a CNC operator. I spent four years in that hell hole. I then quit to go and drive truck. But wasn't able to get my CDL due to no money to retest. I worked a few shit jobs until I wound up back working for my dad in 2005. I worked there till 09. And now I more or less do the same job, Just not under my dad.

PARTNER
I am with someone right now. But like everything els. It is unsure how this will go.

KIDS
I have none, I was one of the few to walk out of high school with no kids.

BROTHERS/SISTERS
I have Two older Half brothers, And two half sisters.

PETS
I have a rabbit right now. That I really can't keep...

THREE TO FIVE THINGS GOING ON IN MY LIFE

Currently going broke at the speed of sound... I'm stuck living with my one sister that don't understand that people won't always hand her money..

My Car needs work. If I do get a bonus this year from work it will go to wheels and tires. Or moving out of this house. witch ever I need first.

And just general depression. There is so much I want to do with my life. But not being able to..

PARENTS

My Mom and Dad.. I have voiced my opinion enough on my parents and what not through out the life of my Journal. I'm sure you know the story for this part.

CLOSE FRIENDS
This is something I do have a hole lot of. What close friends that I did have local moved away at one point or another.

Hmm, How to go about this. Most of my bills are payed. Got about 90 bucks in the bank. And I get payed next friday. The only stuff that comes out of next pay is Rent, And bank of america. I might go ahead and pay of the 60 bucks that I charged to my next cell bill.That way it's less I have to pay next month. Also considering doing some black friday shopping after work. More or less to see what is left. As for today, It's a stay home day. Don't want to waste gas. saturday I wound up getting gas at just over 3 bucks a gallon... And I'm sure it's going to keep going up until newyears is done and over. It most likely will level out at 3.50 a gallon. I remember news saying the last time it was up over 4 buck's them saying 3.50 was going to be the new 2.50 sooner or later.

And wile I am glad my car does well on gas. I still don't like the idea of having to paying that much for gas..

Also my newyears plans are unsure at this time.I went nowhere last year due to money. And what not. Seeing that this year falls on a saturday. I might try and go somewhere. I'm unsure at this time.

On the fursuit front, I keep meaning to box mine up and send it to get fixed and maybe a update. But I keep forgetting or side tracked. Bust I will either get it fixed or replace it. Might not have my suit for AC 2011, But instead I am going to either cosplay repo from "The Genetic Opera" Or a random person from "RepoMen" More likely RepoMen due to the outfit not being had to put together. Also aim to drop some weight before AC 2011. I know I am really trying to do to much again. But it keeps me busy. As for the Transformer. I still want to do it. I just have no where to work with out getting disturbed. Plus a general Cosplay will be interesting to see if anyone knows what movie I'm pulling from.

Well I am going to leave off at this point. Enjoy your day.

Current Mood: awake
Current Music: Erase My Scars By Evens Blue

I haven't sat down and vented in a wile.. Well it's that time again.

The last few month's I have bin fighting with depression. This is the first time in 5 years that I had really had to deal with depression on this level. And wile a good few of my self walls are still in place, It still over powers me at time. And next thing you know I am a total wreck.. I have went to bed early due to this. And to the people that I have bin bin out of contact with. Please do not thing your part of this. This is all brought on due to my life at this point. I am sorry for vanishing like I have, And I will do my best to beat this.

I'm just getting really worn down.. Wile I don't hate my job. I just don't make enough. And my boss is a total ass about 90% of the time. It's getting to close to the end of the year to change jobs. And if I change jobs now I won't make AC, Or anywhere els for that matter.

And yes I know conventions are not everything. But I do enjoy going, Even if I seem distant and not like I am having a good time, Trust me I am. I just never really showed my emotions that well. And to be honest. I just don't know how to let me self go in public.. I always wind up doing something other then I really want to do.

Even when I got the fursuit, The hope was for me to be able to finally open up, Relax if you will.. But I don't know if its because it's not a full suit. Or if its because I just don't know how to let go. Countless friends tell me I always look like I am thinking. Or working...

And the truth is, That's just how I am... If something grabs my attention. Then I have to understand how it work's. Or why it is the way it is, I have also cough my self doing this with friends... I will sit and try and understand just how much they are not like me. I always compare my self to everyone and everything... And I have a hard time trying to stop.. I really think this is why I come off strong at times.. I tend to think that I can always relate to what someone els likes. But there have bin a few times that this was not the case.

Also I am going through some hard core DDR/PIU/ITG withdraw... I think this is also part of my depression... So my arcade machine is not far behind. It almost to the point that I need to play to keep my self from going off the deep end.

Well I am going to end at this point. maybe a post monday?

Current Location: Vista Machine
Current Music: The Army of Sorrow By Killswitch Engaged

some days I wish My dream life was real... I woke up to crying once more.. Why is it that I can love this life. But when I go to sleep I come to a place some vivid, So wonderful. Money is no object. And I mean yes it's not always such a wonderful dream. But if given the choice, I would opp for it over half the shit I go through now...

No don't take this as a sine that I'm turning nuts and going to off my self...

I just wish things went better.. I started redoing the pages I lost from twisted times. I would really like to see this become a comic. Or even a low end movie or something.. I think when it's finished that someone would love to make it a movie. Just have to find the right person.

I'm going to start looking for people to do key pictures to kind of show what is really going on. Now I will be looking for someone who can draw larger then life and over the top. I will need an artist that can just bring a epic event to life.

Current Location: Vista Machine
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: repo the genetic oprea soundtrack

Wow... I have forgot about my LJ... But I did have a good bit on my mind sense I last posted.

So ya.. Anyway I bin just going day by day. The car has bin going right along, Not much to really say about it. Just wish I had more money in order to finish working on the car. I know that this years tax refund goes to my parents again... That's getting old, Other then that, I really don't have much to talk about. Maybe this is a good thing?

Current Location: Vista Machine
Current Music: Genetic repo man, By repo the genitic oprea soundtrack

I really don't think this post will be happy at all... My brother leaves this Friday, After ten years of trying to make up for lost time from when he left for the army so long ago.. He is leaving once more, One of the true family members that I will really miss is leaving once more... I have mixed feelings about this as well. Wile He is going to a better paying job and to be with his daughter. And yes we already talked about me maybe moving out there and crashing with him until I find a place of my own... But at the same time I have to ask my self.. Am I being selfish?? Or is it a last ditch effort to try and reclaim what little of my childhood I had, And what I wish I had. Am I the one that will be most effected? Or will anyone els even care that my brother is who keep me from going off the deep end about 2 year ago??

I honestly have no brother sister bond left with my sister that I grew up with. She has done to much to me, And has caused me to much pain over the years... Everything has always bin to help, And or benefit her.. I am just sick of it. I know once my brother leaves it won't be long until she expects me to carry my laundry outside around the house to get to my washer... At that point I will just tell her to fuck off and grab what I can and live out of my car... Get a P.O. box and be happy...

Also I'm coming up on my 2 year Anna at my current job, This is the about the same time as last year when they gave me my dollar raise. If I am bypassed this year and they give me some kind of excuse. I wont even give them a two weeks notice. First job that bites, I'm out... I already passed up once job because I tried to do everything the right way.. Already was passed up due to needing three weeks to relocate... two weeks to tell them and a week to move... No more will I do this, If they only offer me another dollar this year, I think I'm going to tell them to just keep it.. If I'm only worth 12.65 an hour. You are better off getting someone off the street. And might even just walk out at that point.

I am sick of living paycheck to paycheck. I'm sick of not being able to do shit.. And plain fucking sick of seeing my sister make out on everything..

I think before my brother leaves this week I am going to bring my toolbox up so I can get to it to move. I know she is going to make it a pain for me to do anything..

You know it's fucking sad when I am almost to tears at this situation.... I just want to go to work tomorrow and never come back... But then again I won't get to say my goodbye to my brother.

I'm going to leave it at this point, I can't type anymore with out wanting to brake down and cry... I fucking hate my life at times....

Current Location: Vista Machine
Current Music: Piss it all away, By puddle of mudd

Ahh I have made it to another Wednesday... And I just now got my internet back, My modem took a shit and they just came out to replace it..

Anyway, Work is slowing down once more and I am still looking for a better paying one... I just can't make it on my own with 11.65 an hour... Also my brother moves out at the end of the month, So I need to get something soon... I can't be hear alone with my sister.. Already bad enough I am losing the living room my brother haves, And I wonder how long until it's hard for me to get to do my laundry... That will be next... Also they will rack up bills and I will be left to blame... This was never are house to begin with.. It was move in with your sister and help her pay bills.... That's all this was...

But anyway in other news.. I am going to jack up my car this weekend and start removing the gas tank on number 5 before my brother leaves. I need help getting it out, And with a cutting torch sense I'm going to have to make replacement straps... Ya the strap that is broke has bin discontinued.... And the other one is like 180 bucks for a 16th of an inch thick bar with 6 bends in it.... Anyway, I'm also going to try and sell some of my tools from when I was a CNC operator, Along with the tool box and a few other odds and end's.. Hope is that I will make enough to replace the wheels on number 5 along with new tires. Then I will be go to travel once more. And maybe enough left over to get the radio I bin wanting... And then next spring I will replace the moon roof.. I think number 5 is going to be my collector car sense next year is the last year for mercury. I still wish I keep my red one... But that is besides that point.

Also going to look in to finding something to replace my desktop. She has had a good run, She will go off to become better thing's. Namely My DDR/PIU machine. That's another reason why I need my own place.. No where to work. And I don't want this machine on the 2nd floor of a house...

Well I am going to close on this for now. Take care everyone.

Current Location: Vista Machine
Current Music: Coma White, By Marilyn Manson

Well Yesterday was a nice relaxing day. Also on a up note, My phone interview with sears was yesterday, And as far as that went, It looks good. I'm excited to hear back from them, Now the bad news is that I will be moving farther from Pittsburgh, I will end up moving to Charleston WV. Now the good thing about this. It will put me in a in an area that I will be better able to manage event's that I would want to host down there,

So everything is on the up and up. Hell maybe this is the path in life I have bin waiting for, Maybe I will be able to set out on my own and reach my goals.

To anyone who has knew me for quite some time, They know that I have always wanted to get a fur group going in WV, But me being away from most of them makes it hard to set up event's and what not. And as for now this could be just what the doctor ordered,

I'm going to wait till i hear back for sure from sears before I turn in my two week's, I already talked to the lady who did my inter view about it, And she said that would be fine.

So Sunday we try to fix the gas tank strap on the car, Now I have to be ready for when this does go down. I also already bin hunting for places to live for when I am ready.

Well I am going to cut it off right at this point. Most likely will have an update sunday.

Current Location: Vista machine
Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: Chiron By All that remains

Well this week has bin busy, Bin working. I also have bin trying to finish up my room.

I went to a job interview Thursday, It was up above south hills. The interview went well. But I really don't think I am quite what he is looking for, In the line of what he does anyway. So even if he does call me. I think I am going to turn it down.... I also have a phone interview with sears on Monday, I'm kind of stoked about this interview. The only few downsides are... It's in Charleston, And I'm not sure if they will let me give a two week's.... Anyway let's see how this turns out

This also means that I will have to find crash space in Charleston. Until I get a few paychecks and find a place to live and what not.

This is the first interview that I have had with sear's And I don't want to have to turn it down because of not being able to move.. Anyway I hope something turns out soon... I want to get rid of bank of america for good... And with out a pay raise I don't think I can do it....
Anyway this is my week so far, I think I am going to leave it at this.

Current Location: Vista machine
Current Music: The hand that feed. By NIN

Well I wasn't able to take the job in Wisconsin due to not have the money to make the trip, also wouldn't have the time to give a two weeks where I am at right now.

But on another note I have a interview in Pittsburgh for next Thursday. So hear is hope that I stand to make more money, Also will give me a reason to move close to Pittsburgh, I would most likely move to around Bridgeville. Or Greentree. As for now I will drive back and forth until I find somewhere to move to, If I take the job that is. If Not I'm going to keep looking.

So much of my next check is spoken for... But I'm going to try and make the most of it.

I hope to have more of an update next thursday.

Current Location: Vista machine
Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: Dengar's Dumptruck By MC Chris